Well, in case you were staring at your portfolio this morning wondering if you were gonna have anything to be thankful for besides canned cranberry sauce and football injuries… fear not. You can send a glitter-covered thank-you card straight to Donnie Politics for what he did to Nvidia today. And while you’re licking envelopes, maybe fire one off to Alphabet HQ too, because they single-handedly gagged the “AI bubble popping!!!” doom choir for at least one blessed...
Carvana’s long road back from its near-collapse in 2022 gained another lift this week after Wedbush Securities raised its rating on the company and set a price target well above its recent trading level. The firm upgraded Carvana to Outperform and assigned a $400 target, arguing that the company’s progress over the last several quarters hasn’t been fully reflected in its stock price. Carvana shares fell about 13% over the past month after weaker guidance from CarMax and grow...
Amazon announced Monday that it will invest as much as $50 billion to expand the artificial intelligence and high-performance computing infrastructure that powers its cloud services for U.S. government agencies… a massive build-out that will add nearly 1.3 gigawatts of capacity across new data centers as federal demand for AI accelerates. AWS said construction will begin in 2026, with the new facilities supporting its secure cloud environments including AWS Top Secret, AWS Secret, and...
Well, remember that special surprise Michael Burry teased for November 25th? Apparently he couldn’t contain himself (or maybe he just wanted to get this out before Thanksgiving traffic). Because after shutting down Scion Asset Management, his grand reveal is… he’s becoming a full-time financial blogger. Yes, that Michael Burry (The Big Short guy) is now running a Substack called “Cassandra Unchained.” And naturally, it comes with a $379-a-year price tag for...
Pour one out for our boy Michael Burry… There’s a point in every cycle where you can feel the market collectively asking, “Is this real or am I hallucinating?” Nvidia just hit that point again. Every quarter, Jensen Huang steps onstage dressed like he’s about to unveil a new motorcycle brand, and every quarter he proceeds to casually rewire the global economy. (Source: Giphy) This one wasn’t any different… because of course it...
Trump didn’t hear no bell… There’s always a moment in politics where the energy completely f*cks ish up without warning. One minute everyone’s arguing about subsidies and actuarial tables, and the next President Trump strolls out and basically says, “Yeah… we’re done sending checks to insurance companies. The money goes to people now.” (Source: Giphy) And just like that, health insurers, the same ones everyone assumed would get...
Novo Nordisk just woke up and chose violence… against its own shareholders. The stock’s down nearly 9% after the company revealed that its big, new Alzheimer’s moonshot… well… didn’t make it past the launch pad. The EVOKE and EVOKE+ trials (the ones analysts already warned were long shots and Novo itself called a “lottery ticket”) officially scratched off to reveal a big fat “try again.” And the market did not clap. Novo sank to a...
Well, in case you were staring at your portfolio this morning wondering if you were gonna have anything to be thankful for besides canned cranberry sauce and football injuries… fear not. You can send a glitter-covered thank-you card straight to Donnie Politics for what he did to Nvidia today. And while you’re licking envelopes, maybe fire one off to Alphabet HQ too, because they single-handedly gagged the “AI bubble popping!!!” doom choir for at least one blessed...
“Your honor, it’s all a coincidence… we had no knowledge of the confidential files our new employee downloaded at his previous job… and we absolutely would never use those confidential files to steal their partnership deal.” That’s essentially Archer Aviation’s right now… the equivalent of a kid standing next to a broken lamp saying, “It was like that when I got here.” So go ahead and toss a bag of popcorn into the nearest...
Carvana’s long road back from its near-collapse in 2022 gained another lift this week after Wedbush Securities raised its rating on the company and set a price target well above its recent trading level. The firm upgraded Carvana to Outperform and assigned a $400 target, arguing that the company’s progress over the last several quarters hasn’t been fully reflected in its stock price. Carvana shares fell about 13% over the past month after weaker guidance from CarMax and grow...
So Kohl’s fired their ex-CEO after he dipped his proverbial pen in the company's ink… then they proceeded to appoint a new CEO with extensive experience at Victoria’s Secret? Sounds legit… After three consecutive years of clusterf*k leadership, Kohls has finally found their man in Michael Bender. The bar is on the floor, Michael. (Source: Giphy) In short, Bender (who has previously held leadership roles at Victoria’s Secret, Walmart, a...
Trump didn’t hear no bell… There’s always a moment in politics where the energy completely f*cks ish up without warning. One minute everyone’s arguing about subsidies and actuarial tables, and the next President Trump strolls out and basically says, “Yeah… we’re done sending checks to insurance companies. The money goes to people now.” (Source: Giphy) And just like that, health insurers, the same ones everyone assumed would get...
Novo Nordisk just woke up and chose violence… against its own shareholders. The stock’s down nearly 9% after the company revealed that its big, new Alzheimer’s moonshot… well… didn’t make it past the launch pad. The EVOKE and EVOKE+ trials (the ones analysts already warned were long shots and Novo itself called a “lottery ticket”) officially scratched off to reveal a big fat “try again.” And the market did not clap. Novo sank to a...
Everyone: “There’s no way Tesla’s autonomy plans can get any more disappointing…” Elon Musk: “Hold my steering-wheel-less beer.” Over the weekend, Tesla dropped yet another episode of When Timelines Attack, and this one might be the season finale. Musk confirmed that Tesla’s next-gen self-driving brain (the hyped, promised, over-sold AI5 chip) “won’t be available in volume until mid-2027.” Not 2025 like he said last yea...
BHP Group has quietly approached Anglo American again about a potential takeover, reviving a megadeal pursuit just months after the London-listed miner agreed to merge with Canada’s Teck Resources. The outreach, made in recent days, was confirmed by people familiar with the matter, who stressed that discussions are preliminary and may not lead to a formal bid. The renewed interest sets up a potential clash between two transformational transactions, Anglo American’s planned all-sto...
“This MF’er don’t miss…” - Dan Ives about himself, probably There’s a very specific look analysts get when they’ve been right for too long. It’s that glazed, mildly exhausted stare of a man who’s been explaining the same trade since 2019 while the same five skeptics ask if “this time is different.” Dan Ives walked into Friday with that energy. (Source: Giphy) Because somehow, after Nvidia vaporized every earnin...
Figure AI is facing its first real public stress test after a former safety engineer filed a lawsuit accusing the company of firing him for warning that its humanoid robots might be capable of causing serious harm… including, in his words, having enough force to “fracture a human skull.” The complaint, filed Friday in the Northern District of California, comes from Robert Gruendel, who served as a principal robotic safety engineer at the startup. He says he was let go in Se...
Bill Ackman is back with another galaxy-brain idea, and this one might actually out-Ackman every Ackman move he’s ever pulled: the man wants to take Pershing Square public. Yes, the hedge-fund boss who narrates every market wobble like the fall of Rome and more recently has become a dating expert on Twitter for the pickup line “may I meet you?” is aiming for a 2026 IPO. I guess when you can influence markets the way Bill can, you might as well monetize that. Acc...
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