“Can you take me higher?” (The stock market said: barely, but we’ll take it.) Stocks crept higher (once again) as two completely contradictory forces somehow managed to push the market in the same direction… up. On one hand, Donald Trump struck a fresh trade deal with Vietnam (complete with some new tariffs friendly to Uncle Sam), while on the other, the U.S. labor market just flashed its weakest signal in over two years. The Nasdaq led the way with a 0.7% g...
There’s the usual corporate groveling, and then there’s Paramount Global sending $16 million straight to Trump’s presidential library fund after getting pantsed over a “60 Minutes” nothingburger. You don’t see this kind of public humiliation outside of early-2000s reality TV, and for once, the “fake news” crew picked up the tab. (Source: Giphy) In short, Trump demanded $20 billion for “emotional damage” after CBS&r...
Things got tense yesterday after Trump threatened to go after Elon’s federal subsidies. All because Elon hopped on Twitter (yeah, still calling it that) and told the Republican Party: “If you vote for Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill, I will personally fund your political funeral.” His actual post wasn’t much different… he vowed to take down any GOP lawmaker who backed the bill, calling it an “abomination” and promising to bankroll their primary challen...
You know what’s more American than yoga pants? Suing over yoga pants. Lululemon just went full “Karen with a law degree,” dragging Costco for the unspeakable crime of selling $8 hoodies to people who think “flow” is what happens after three Kirkland margaritas. (Source: Giphy) In short, Lulu, the brand that convinced a generation to spend $128 on pants that double as both gym wear and divorce court attire, is big mad… like cease and desi...
In case you missed it, BigBear.ai just ripped 45% this week, and if you’re wondering why, it’s because investors apparently love nothing more than a company that can scan your face at JFK and sell AI snake oil to the Pentagon in the same quarter. Shares are now up 300% over the last 12 months. Bigly. (Source: Giphy) In short, Tuesday, BigBear announced its biometric ID software (thanks to the Pangiam acquisition that cost BigBear $70 million last year) is now be...
Fox News might want to start offering frequent flier miles for courtroom visits… because once again, they’ve landed themselves in legal hot water. This time, it’s not Dominion or Smartmatic knocking on their door with a stack of subpoenas. Nope, the latest lawsuit comes courtesy of California Governor Gavin Newsom… who apparently found just enough free time between running the country’s most dysfunctional state and launching his deeply necessary podcast to sue Fox...
There’s the usual corporate groveling, and then there’s Paramount Global sending $16 million straight to Trump’s presidential library fund after getting pantsed over a “60 Minutes” nothingburger. You don’t see this kind of public humiliation outside of early-2000s reality TV, and for once, the “fake news” crew picked up the tab. (Source: Giphy) In short, Trump demanded $20 billion for “emotional damage” after CBS&r...
“Can you take me higher?” (The stock market said: barely, but we’ll take it.) Stocks crept higher (once again) as two completely contradictory forces somehow managed to push the market in the same direction… up. On one hand, Donald Trump struck a fresh trade deal with Vietnam (complete with some new tariffs friendly to Uncle Sam), while on the other, the U.S. labor market just flashed its weakest signal in over two years. The Nasdaq led the way with a 0.7% g...
Just as the market was settling into cruise control heading into July, Canada tossed a wrench into the engine. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq were at fresh all-time highs, traders were feeling themselves, and the emotion was full-on “nothing can stop us now.” And then… Canada happened. With zero sense of timing, Ottawa decided to roll out a 3% digital services tax aimed squarely at U.S. tech giants (Amazon, Meta, Google, Netflix) you know, the companies responsible for 97%...
You know what’s more American than yoga pants? Suing over yoga pants. Lululemon just went full “Karen with a law degree,” dragging Costco for the unspeakable crime of selling $8 hoodies to people who think “flow” is what happens after three Kirkland margaritas. (Source: Giphy) In short, Lulu, the brand that convinced a generation to spend $128 on pants that double as both gym wear and divorce court attire, is big mad… like cease and desi...
“I like big bills, and I can not lie…” Last night, in a marathon that left half the chamber looking like extras in The Walking Dead, the Senate passed Trump’s giant tax-and-spending-cuts bill by the slimmest margin possible: 50-50, with Vice President JD Vance breaking the tie and single-handedly cycling Democrats through all five stages of grief in public on C-SPAN. (Source: Giphy) Three Republicans… Tillis, Collins, and Rand &ldquo...
Apple’s legal team is probably not getting a full 8 hours of sleep right now. They recently survived a $2 billion fine in the EU over App Store favoritism, fought off multiple U.S. antitrust investigations, and wrapped up a nasty trade secrets case against chip startup Rivos… one involving ex-Apple engineers allegedly leaving with M-series chip secrets tucked under their hoodies (oopsies, how did that get in there?). And now, Apple’s legal team has turned its gaze to&he...
The IPO market has quietly become one of the biggest stories of Trump’s first year back in office… though it’s been completely overshadowed by tariff headlines. CoreWeave exploded out of the gate, Circle went up triple digits its first day, and Chime made a solid entrance. Now, Figma is stepping up with a public offering of its own, hoping to ride the momentum that’s been slowly building since the start of the year. They’re probably thinking “if a name like C...
If you woke up this morning hoping for a chill start to Q3, try again. The first day of H2 2025 just did a full body-slam on the “tech always wins” narrative as the Dow went full Boomer Rage Mode, racking up a 400-point gain to close at 44,494.94. As for the Nasdaq and S&P 500? Close but no cigar. Both indexes toppled -0.82% and -0.11%, respectively as sector rotation went full tilt. If you looked closely, you would’ve seen every tech CEO staring at their charts like they&r...
Well, Google just set its pile of cash on fire in the most high-energy way imaginable…by signing the first direct commercial deal for nuclear fusion. Yes, really. The tech behemoth is about to start powering search results and deep fakes with the same science that holds the universe together. (Source: Giphy) In short, nuclear fusion is the holy grail of energy… fusing hydrogen atoms until they start acting like a Coachella crowd and releasing truly disgusting...
Robinhood is back on its degenerate B.S. as they’ve just pulled a “look what you can’t have” stunt on American investors: launching tokenized shares of OpenAI and SpaceX for users in Europe. The stock popped nearly 13% on the news, presumably because nothing gets investors more horned up than the prospect of finally getting a taste of the private equity pie. Meanwhile, U.S. users… Well, they can kick rocks with this rollout. (Source: Giphy) In...
Back in 2020, there was an analyst at the company I worked at who was completely fixated on one idea: air taxis. He genuinely believed that in just a few short years, we’d all be skipping traffic by booking on-demand flying vehicles like they were Ubers. Not only that, he was convinced this was the next big investment opportunity. He would pitch early-stage companies building electric vertical takeoff and landing (eVTOL) aircraft… companies with no revenue, no FAA approval, a...
Hey Siri, define “desperate”... Tim Apple has finally caved as he’s signaled that the next big thing out of Cupertino might be… a licensing agreement that might finally make Siri less useless, but only by admitting they can’t actually do it themselves. Translation: According to Bloomberg, the company’s latest “innovation” is calling up OpenAI and Anthropic for help. (Source: Giphy) In short, Apple is deep in talks wi...
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