Congress absolutely LOVES a good distraction. And this week, they unveiled their latest magic trick: “What if, hear us out, instead of banning ourselves from insider trading… we just pre-announce the insider trading?” The official term they all came up with is called Pre-disclosure. The legislative equivalent of a bank robber yelling, “HEADS UP, I’M HITTING THE VAULT IN 30 MINUTES,” as if that somehow makes it ethical. During an 82-minute hearing (w...
Volkswagen be like “If Nike can do it with shoes, why not do it with cars? Lmao… Well, after decades of selling “German engineering”, VW basically walked out and said, “Everything we can do, China can do better… cheaper… and faster.” And that’s exactly what they’re going to do now. Translation: This didn’t age too well… (Source: X.com) In short, according to reports, the comp...
Airlines across multiple continents faced short-term disruptions heading into the weekend after Airbus warned carriers to immediately install a software update for the A320 family of aircraft. The update follows an investigation into a JetBlue incident last month in which a sudden altitude drop injured at least 15 passengers. According to Airbus, the review of the JetBlue event found that intense solar radiation can corrupt critical flight-control data on A320-series aircraft, including the A...
Nobody asked for this… The world is obsessed with face computers, and I for one am not impressed. Why? Because after a grueling Black Friday at the mall with my family of four… I decided it would be a great idea to check out the new Meta glasses. And not surprisingly, they were absolute trash. (Spoiler: The Best Buy salesman and I spent 20 minutes trying to get the glasses to notice my hand movements… with literally zero success.) Time = wasted. (Source: Giphy)&nbs...
Congress absolutely LOVES a good distraction. And this week, they unveiled their latest magic trick: “What if, hear us out, instead of banning ourselves from insider trading… we just pre-announce the insider trading?” The official term they all came up with is called Pre-disclosure. The legislative equivalent of a bank robber yelling, “HEADS UP, I’M HITTING THE VAULT IN 30 MINUTES,” as if that somehow makes it ethical. During an 82-minute hearing (w...
Nobody asked for this… The world is obsessed with face computers, and I for one am not impressed. Why? Because after a grueling Black Friday at the mall with my family of four… I decided it would be a great idea to check out the new Meta glasses. And not surprisingly, they were absolute trash. (Spoiler: The Best Buy salesman and I spent 20 minutes trying to get the glasses to notice my hand movements… with literally zero success.) Time = wasted. (Source: Giphy)&nbs...
Intel shares jumped more than 10% on Friday after a new analyst note revived an idea most people had already filed under “unlikely”: Apple might be warming up to working with Intel again. The stock closed at $40.56 (its highest finish in about a year) and added another brick to what’s been one of the more surprising rebounds in the chip world this year. This is the same stock that was sitting near $20 at the start of 2025, when plenty of investors wondered whether Inte...
F*ck income taxes, all my homies hate income taxes… Welp, President Donny Tariffhands flippantly suggested once again that he might “cut out income tax completely” over the next couple years. According to #47, the revenue from those bad boys is going to be “so large” the U.S. could basically erase the entire IRS income tax line with a single keystroke. And trust me, I’d love nothing more than to live in a world where my CPA doesn’t call me wit...
Robinhood Markets and Susquehanna International Group are moving aggressively into the fast-growing world of prediction markets, announcing a deal to acquire a 90% stake in LedgerX, a U.S.-regulated derivatives exchange previously tied to the collapsed crypto platform FTX. The exchange, currently operated by Miami International Holdings, has been one of the few solvent assets recovered from the FTX bankruptcy. MIAX purchased LedgerX in 2023 for $50 million. Under the new transaction, MIAX wil...
If you were wondering if Trump has his priorities in order… look no further than today… Paramount Skydance is officially reviving Rush Hour 4 after Donald Trump personally nudged Larry Ellison to Make Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker Great Again. This man really woke up one morning, looked at the nuclear codes, and said: “Nah… I gotta fix this franchise first.” Respect. If you’re wondering how the sausage is getting made, here’s the part where i...
Intel shares jumped more than 10% on Friday after a new analyst note revived an idea most people had already filed under “unlikely”: Apple might be warming up to working with Intel again. The stock closed at $40.56 (its highest finish in about a year) and added another brick to what’s been one of the more surprising rebounds in the chip world this year. This is the same stock that was sitting near $20 at the start of 2025, when plenty of investors wondered whether Inte...
F*ck income taxes, all my homies hate income taxes… Welp, President Donny Tariffhands flippantly suggested once again that he might “cut out income tax completely” over the next couple years. According to #47, the revenue from those bad boys is going to be “so large” the U.S. could basically erase the entire IRS income tax line with a single keystroke. And trust me, I’d love nothing more than to live in a world where my CPA doesn’t call me wit...
Starbucks Workers United officially woke up this morning, stretched, downed a lukewarm Pike Place, and decided Brian Niccol wasn’t allowed to have a peaceful holiday weekend. The union has escalated its indefinite strike to over 120 stores in 85 cities, marking what they promise will be the longest, pettiest, caffeine-fueled standoff in Starbucks history. And of course they timed it for Black Friday, the national holiday where Americans willingly body-check each other for discounted...
This is why we can’t have nice things… Nothing hits the heart attack switch quite like being in the middle of a trade and your PC gives you the ‘blue screen of death’ middle finger. That’s exactly what happened earlier this morning during London hours, as the world’s largest derivatives exchange straight-up faceplanted because… *checks notes*... the data center got too hot. I wish I were kidding. A cooling system malfunction at CyrusOne took out Glo...
Since it’s Black Friday (our national holiday of trampling each other for electronics) it only makes sense to spotlight crypto’s most enthusiastic “sale shopper.” Mama Cathie is back in the aisles, and the cope is absolutely overflowing. It’s no secret that crypto’s showing some pretty big warning signs. Bitcoin’s down almost 25% this month. Stablecoins suddenly aren’t so stable. Coinbase is down 25%, and Block is down so horrendously you&rs...
Apple investors be like… (Source: Giphy) While we were all stuffing our faces with Grandma’s famous pecan pie for Thanksgiving, a Senior VP inside of Samsung’s HQ slammed his head into a conference table and whispered, “Not like this.” Because for the first time in 14 years, Apple is about to out-ship Samsung. Yes, the same Samsung that’s been treating the global smartphone market like a personal fiefdom since Obama’s first term ju...
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission has opened a civil investigation into Jefferies Financial Group, focusing on whether the investment bank properly disclosed its exposure to First Brands Group, the now-bankrupt auto parts supplier whose collapse has sent shock waves through the private credit market. The probe centers on Jefferies’ Point Bonita Capital fund, which held roughly $715 million in receivables tied to First Brands before the company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy i...
Anta Sports to Puma this morning: “Yo… You Gonna Eat That?” Well, Happy Thanksgiving morning to Puma whose shares are up 14% after reports that Anta Sports, China’s $40 billion version of Nike, is considering buying them up. Remember, this is Anta, the same crew who turned around FILA like it was a musty Goodwill find. (Source: Yahoo Finance) So how did Puma get into this position? Well probably because Puma’s 2025 has looked like a estate sale that neve...
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